her Confession

"Sir, i have no excuse for failing to tell You about my meeting with Derrick."

WHACK! His hand came down across her face, leaving a bright red mark on her right cheek. "you know I do not accept excuses anyway. Tell me the reason you failed to tell me about the meeting."

Slapping her was a punishment rarely used, but this was a rule rarely broken and He could not tolerate her attempt to avoid answering. He recognized this as His own weakness, but she was His whole world and He couldn't stop the anxiety He experienced just thinking of her submitting to some other man. The rule was there for a reason. she was a natural submissive: she spent her days completely in control and assertive to the outside world, all the while craving for some strong man to dominate her -- to protect her and to make some portion of her life decision free. she needed this even before she knew she needed it; however, no matter how much she needed it, He had always been clear that He could be the only one. He would share her body with others, but not her mind, not her soul. Those were His.

she was surprised, but unphased, by the slap. "Sir, i don't have a reason. It did not come to mind when i was with You or talking to you on the phone, and when i did think of it, i decided not to leave the information on a voice mail or an email message. i know that also would have been unacceptable. So, by the time this morning arrived, i simply hadn't done it."

He tried to be strong, to not let His fear show, but He wasn't satisfied with her explanation. she knew how important this rule was to Him. He suspected she failed to tell him of the meeting, even if "accidentally," because she was afraid of the same thing He was -- this other man might push her into doing something she would regret. Nonetheless, He had decided long ago to take her at her word. she had shaded the truth more than once in the past, but she had never blatantly lied to Him to His knowledge. He chose to accept her explanation and even let Himself believe that she believed it, too.

"I am very disappointed in you right now, anastasia. Now, go on. Disappoint me further, if you must. What happened?"

she hesitated for a moment. What do i tell Him? Then her voice became very quiet as she began to speak. "Sir, Derrick really tried to push my buttons today. As usual, he propositioned me, and as usual, I treated it as a joke. But, today, he didn't want to laugh it off. Today, he actually tried to push me into something. I'm not even sure what he expected or how far he thought it might go, but he clearly wanted something."

she paused, hoping He would say something. When it was clear He would not, she continued. "He asked me to decide whether i wanted him to stop flirting with me, to stop pursuing me, and if so, to tell him. So, that's exactly what i did. i told him i was taken and, while i enjoyed our conversations, i was not interested in anything further."

"And was that the truth, anastasia? Were you really not interested in anything further?"

"Yes . . . and no, Sir. You are all i want and need. i am yours completely and without reservation. But, was i interested? i cannot lie to You. If not for You, today would have been a very different day. But, that is not the case. i do have you to take care of me, as my Owner and my Master. That is the whole of my existence. As long as i have that, i need nothing more."

"Did it end there? Did he stop?"

"No, Sir. When he understood i was in control, not him, he returned to his usual self. We spent the rest of the morning like most any other i've spent with him, discussing projects mixed with a little harmless flirting. Then, we went to lunch."

"Excuse me?" He had heard her but could think of no other response.

her earlier trepidation was gone. she explained, "We went to lunch. Don't worry. He didn't push me into it. You have never instructed me not to do so, and i wanted to. So, i did."

With an air of confidence He had not seen before when they had discussed these types of situations, she continued, "He, of course, propositioned me again after lunch, and i again told him no. i am Yours and Yours alone, and that is exactly what i told him."

He considered her story. If He understood her correctly, she had never asserted herself this well in such a situation before. she was truly much stronger than the insecure girl He had always been so afraid of losing.

"anastasia, go to the room," Frederick instructed, directing her to their playroom.

anastasia backed out of the living room on her hands and knees. When she reached the hall, she stood and quickly entered their playroom. Frederick was right behind her.

Once they entered, He wasted no time. He chained her to a padded bench He had bought specifically for that purpose. she was face down, on her knees, chest across the bench, with each arm and each leg shackled to a different bench leg. Without a word, He placed a blindfold over her eyes and then placed a ball gag in her mouth. Finally, He unclasped her collar and dropped it on the floor.

The moment He had touched the collar, she froze. What was He doing? Up to that point, she had been unconcerned with His actions. But, since the day He had given her the collar, He had never removed it from her neck. she always did it and only at the last possible moment before it had to come off for some reason.

"I have removed your collar so you can feel unowned for a little while. you know I have never punished you in this way before, and I do not take this action lightly. I love you and I will resume My Ownership of you, but in the meantime, you must think about what you've done. In not telling Me of this meeting, you have broken a very serious rule. If you did not expect serious consequences, you have no one but yourself to blame."

The next thing she knew, she could hear His footsteps as He left the room and closed the door. Although the room had been designed to reduce sound, she still felt the house shudder when He went out the front door. Although it was not the first time he'd left her like this, for play or punishment, the dynamic was entirely different without her collar. For the first time in a very long time, she felt alone.

she began to cry.

It wasn't that she'd never been physically alone during their relationship - of course she had - but this was different. At this moment, she was completely alone. Throughout their relationship, no matter where He was, no matter where she was, He was with her. As long as she was Owned, she was never completely alone. Now, she felt something she hadn't felt in years, she felt what it was like to not belong to anyone. And, she hated it.

What began as a few tears became a flood. she began gasping for what air she could get with the ball gag still in her mouth. she sobbed and saliva ran out of her mouth and down her chin. Unable to speak, and with no one there to speak to anyway, she silently begged Him to come back and make her His again.

she cried until her eyes ached. she cried until she was exhausted. she cried until she gave in to her despair and allowed herself to just collapse silently on the bench, not making a sound, her cheek pressed against the wet spot on the bench cushion left from her tears and saliva. she didn't move. she lost all track of time.

At some point, she drifted off to sleep.