submission

she was afraid; that was clear. she had been hurt before, many times, even by Him -- especially by Him. The thing is ... she still wanted to put herself out there. she still wanted to give herself to Him. she was just so afraid of being hurt again.

He could see it in everything she did. she remained hesitant, but she was trying to behave the way He wanted, the way He expected. she was such a good girl and His heart ached to watch her struggle with her emotions. she was attentive. she was obedient. she silently begged Him to reassert the control she had purposefully slipped out of, too scared or embarassed to voice the words and ask for it. So, why didn't He just do it?

He felt sure He understood what she wanted, but He also recognized His responsibility to her. Don't take control. Don't accept her submission. Don't be her Master, unless you can do it without hurting her. He wrestled with His thoughts, even as His heart yearned to make her His again.

Why can't I just reach over, grab her by the hair, push her to her knees, and make her admit this is what she wants, what she needs?, He wondered. The answer, of course, was immediate. Because she's not ready to give you herself again, yet. Because she can't take more hurt right now. Because she loves you more than you deserve. That last thought crept in unbidden, but He recognized there was a bit of truth behind it.

she would deny it, of course, but He knew she was a princess to His footman. her submission was an act of love, not something He had taken from her of right. He would wait for her to give it again, as He felt certain she would. In fact, He felt confident she was close already. her resiliency was amazing, and more than He had any right to expect.

Yes, she would be on her knees again soon enough. Neither of them really would want it to be any other way.